Monday, March 25, 2013

A second alone could have changed my life

Today something scary happened.

If you are a mom of young children you will know that you don't get a moment alone, even when you have to go to the bathroom.

Well today was no different, I went into the bathroom and was going to shut the door to have a second alone, but felt that I shouldn't.

I am so grateful I didn't.

Both Jax and Addy came running in like usual and Addy started doing this little cough, the cough sound became quieter and quieter and when she turned around, her eyes were wide open and a look of panic was on her face, the coughing sound – gone.

OH MY GOSH SHE IS CHOCKING!

I immediately picked her up and held her head down and started smacking her back. After a couple hard hits a quarter (YES A QUARTER) came flying out of her mouth.

I have to say that I hear about kids chocking and I always have thought to myself that I would be freaking out and panicky if that ever happened to me - but really I was very calm and my instincts took over and just started doing what I needed to do. Now maybe this was because I didn't know what she was chocking on so I was able to stay calm, but as soon as it came out and everything was all right. All the what if's started:

What if I had shut the door

What if she hadn't come in and just stayed in the family room

What if her and Jax were playing and he saw her doing that? Would he know to come get me?

Thats when I started to really freak out.

Through all the panic I started feeling, I also felt such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude to my Savior. I know it was the spirit that kept me from shutting that bathroom door.

Scary moments happen a lot when you are a mom, and if you turn every one into a near death experience you will drive yourself mad.

But I can't help shake the feeling that today, if I hadn’t been there, it really could have been.

I know that the outcome of events like this are not always happy ones and tragically little ones are taken early from us, but what a wonderful thing it is to know that our Savior is there with open arms welcoming them home when they leave this earth young.

People talk about a mother’s intuition - well I know better - I know it’s a loving Savoir nudging us and giving us thoughts and feelings that keep our little ones, HIS little ones safe.