2nd Dr. Appt

I had my second doctors appointment on Wednesday August 3rd. I got there and my dr was out of town so they had this sweet older man doing the appointments. I have had a women dr and have always wanted one because... well I just prefer it, so thank goodness this was just a minor appt where they take blood pressure, and listen for the baby's heartbeat. He was so funny and I actually really enjoyed myself until it was time to listen to the heartbeat. He asked me to pull my shirt up, he got the gel stuff and the machine they use to hear the heartbeat and started moving it around. I remember with Jaxon it took them awhile to find the heartbeat, so I was totally expecting it. Well he kept moving it around and around and NOTHING! I just kept telling myself that it was normal and that it takes awhile to find because the baby is still so small, but obviously in the back of my mind I was starting to worry. He was very sweet and just kept telling me that everything was fine, he would find it. After what seemed like FOREVER he said, I'm going to go get the ultrasound machine, I'll be right back. This is when I started to get more nervous, what if something was wrong, why couldn't they find the heartbeat this way? He came back, and used the ultra sound machine... he got the baby up on the screen... phew.... but we didnt' see a heartbeat. I started feeling panic. I looked at the dr to try and read his reaction and he looked worried - this did not help me. He continued to move the wand around trying to get a better view to see the heartbeat, I was almost to tears at this point, there was my precious baby, no heart beating. Finally I saw a little flutter! He positioned the wand better at that spot and sure enough we could see it! It seemed really slow so I was still worried, but he said it looked fine and everything was fine. He then said, "this is why we have these appointments, to make sure the baby is not dead." I'm glad he said that AFTER we knew everything was ok because I probably would have lost it. He took some pictures and made some funny jokes to lighten the mood so I left there feeling good that I saw my baby, everything looks fine, and I got more pictures. I think I will feel much better after the 20 week ultrasound when they check everything!